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christmas jokes christmas jokes
Lots of quick jokes and fun for that fast dose of festive humour Longer christmas jokes and humour Christmas Carols, Rhymes & Songs


Wax Lyrical
Batman Bells
Christmas Fairy
Inner City Carols
Internet Night
Least popular Carols
Night before Christmas
Night before Solstice
Oh Little Town
Politically Correct
Santa went crazy
Web addiction sing along
The 12 days of Christmas
A Revised Policy
Fast Food Version
Microsoft Version 1.0
Politically Correct
The Real Story
 


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T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS - OLD SANTA WAS PISSED

T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have good mind to scrap the whole works

I've busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those a**holes from IRS sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money
And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible ...Those mean little sh*ts

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them
They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!

If you think that's bad...just picture this
Try holding those brats...with their pants full of piss
They pull on my nose - they grab at my beard
And if I don't smile..the parents think I'm weird

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment
There's no Christmas this year... now you know the reason
I found me a blonde... I'm going SOUTH for the season!!

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