Signs You've Hired a Bad Santa
- He recently
starred in film called The Full Santy.
- Asks all the
mothers, "How 'bout a little lap action for mommy?"
- Was recently
suspended from NBA for choking his coach.
- Beard catches
on fire whenever he lights his crack pipe.
- Every few minutes,
his beard rustles, and you hear a muffled meow.
- When kid asks
for a bike, he says, "Good luck -- your parents look like cheap-ass bastards."
- He's doubled
over, gasping for breath, after the second "Ho."
- Amuses kids
by demonstrating the "sleeper hold" on an elf.
- His "beard"
consists of a dozen styrofoam peanuts glued to his face.
- Always starts
off by asking, "You ain't Jewish, are ya?"