signs you're not getting a christmas bonus
- Co-workers refer
to you as "the ghost of unemployment future"
- The last time
you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial
- On your door,
you find a lovely wreath of pink slips
- What you call
"my new office," everybody else calls "the supply closet"
- Boss's Christmas
card says, "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out"
- You keep getting
memos reminding you that employees are required to wear pants
- When your boss
came over for Thanksgiving, he was crushed under avalanche of stolen office
- Whenever you
ask for a raise, a guy shows up at your house and breaks your jaw
- In your most
recent performance evaluation, the word "crap" appeared 78 times
- You're the starting
quarterback for the New York Jets