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Lots of quick jokes and fun for that fast dose of festive humour Longer christmas jokes and humour Christmas Carols, Rhymes & Songs


Tall Tales
All I want for Christmas
Angel on the tree ?
Barbie's letter to Santa
Christmas Carols
Christmas Fairies
Christmas String
Does Santa exist ?
Ken's letter to Santa
Microsoft buys Christmas
Rudolph Song
Santa system admins
What to give an optimist
Ten Signs That
Santa has marital worries
Santa hates your kid
Store Santa Peeves
Your not getting a bonus
Your sick of the holidays
You've got a bad tree
You've hired a bad Santa


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All I want for Christmas is...

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten for Christmas. Now, her mother couldn't buy a kitten and parcel it up for Christmas Day, so she bought it a week before Christmas and gave it to the little girl.
'You're getting your Christmas present a week early this year,' her mother explained and handed over the fluffy little tabby kitten. 'Is that what you want?'

The little girl, whose name was Kitty, said, 'It's wonderful, mother...just what I wanted. There's just one thing wrong!'
'What's that?' her mother asked.
'Well, it has a cute little claw on the outside of every paw and a cute little claw on the inside of every paw - but the poor little thing has no claws at all in the middle of its paws!'

Her mother smiled. 'Don't worry, Kitty....when you wake up on Christmas morning you'll find the claws are there.'

Now Kitty loved her kitten dearly, but she worried about the claws in the middle of its paws. The days passed and there wasn't even a hint, a clue or an inkling of claws in the middle of its paws!

When Christmas Eve arrived and there was still no sign, Kitty went to her mother and asked again, 'Are you absolutely sure that the kitten will have its middle claws tomorrow? There's only a few hours to go and there's not a hint or clue or an inkling as to claws as far as I can see!'

'Wait till you wake up on Christmas morning,' her mother smiled and went on stuffing the turkey.

So Kitty went to sleep a worried girl. And when she woke up on Christmas morning she ignored the presents in her stocking and rushed downstairs to look at her little kitten.

She was astounded, amazed and just a little surprised to see that her kitten had four claws on every paw! The middle ones had appeared as if by magic.

Kitty rushed to her parent's bedroom. 'Mummy, Mummy! The kitten has grown its middle claws!'

'Of course it has,' her mother grinned.
'But how did you know?' Kitty demanded.
Her father rolled over sleepily and sighed, 'Oh, Kitty, everybody knows....that Centre-claws always comes at Christmas!'

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