letter to Santa
I understand that one of my colleagues has petitioned you for changes in her
contract, specifically asking for anatomical and career changes.
In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging remarks were made about
me, my ability to please, and some of my fashion choices. I would like to take
this opportunity to inform you of some issues concerning
Ms. Barbie, and some of my own needs and desires.
First of all, I along with several other colleagues feel Barbie DOES NOT deserve
preferential treatment-the bitch has EVERYTHING!! I, along with Joe, Jem, Raggedy
Ann & Andy, DO NOT have a dream house, Corvette, evening gowns, and in some cases,
the ability to change our hairstyle. I personally have 3 outfits which I am forced
to mix and match at great length. My decision to accessorise my outfits with an
earring was my
decision and reflects my lifestyle choice.
I, too, would like a change in my career. Have you considered :"Decorator Ken",
"Beauty Salon Ken", or "Out of Work Actor Ken"? In
addition, there are several other avenues which could be considered such as:"S&M
Ken", "Green Lantern Ken", "Circuit Ken", "Bear Ken", "Master Ken".
These would more accurately reflect my desires and perhaps open new markets.
And as for Barbie needing bendable arms so she can"push me away", I need bendable
knees so I can kick that bitch to the curb.
Bendable knees would also be helpful for me in other situations-we've talked
about this issue before.
In closing, I would like to point out that any further concessions to the blond
bimbo from hell will result in action taken by myself and
PS. Barbie can forget about having Joe-he's mine, at least that is what he said
Barbie's letter to Santa