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Lots of quick jokes and fun for that fast dose of festive humour Longer christmas jokes and humour Christmas Carols, Rhymes & Songs


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The night before Christmas


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Christmas Cracker Jokes
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Did you hear about the stupid plastic surgeon?
Yes. He stood in front of the fire and melted!
Doctor, Doctor! Everyone thinks I'm a liar!
Doctor: I don't believe you!
Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not?
Because it wasn't raining!
How can you get your name in lights the world over?
Change your name to Emergency Exit!
How do monkeys make toast?
Stick some bread under the gorilla!
How do witches tell the time?
With a witch-watch!
How do you start a polar-bear race?
Say 'Ready! Teddy! Go!'
How does Father Christmas climb up a chimney?
He uses a ladder in the stocking!
I say, I say, I say! My wife's gone to the West Indies!
Jamaica?
No. She was quite happy to go!
If I'm standing at the North Pole, facing the South Pole, and the East is on my left hand, what's on my right hand?
Fingers!


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