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Christmas Cracker Jokes
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Why can't a bike stand up by itself?
Because it's two-tyred!
Why couldn't the sailors play cards?
Because the captain was standing on the deck!
Why did the chicken cross the football pitch?
Because the referee whistled for a fowl!
Why do you call your dog Metal-worker?
Because every time he hears a knock he makes a bolt for the door.
Why was the Turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drum-sticks!
What did one angel say to the other?
Halo there!
What's purple and shouts "Help"?
A damson in distress.
How do you spell hungry horse with four letters?
M.T.G.G.
Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Because it has Greece at the bottom.
What question can you never answer YES to?
Are you asleep?


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