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christmas jokes christmas jokes
Lots of quick jokes and fun for that fast dose of festive humour Longer christmas jokes and humour Christmas Carols, Rhymes & Songs


Quick Fixes
Christmas Animal Jokes
Christmas Books
Christmas Dinner
Christmas Doctor
Christmas Greetings
Cracker Jokes
Elf Jokes
Gnome Jokes
Knock Knock Jokes
Father Christmas
General Christmas Jokes
Pantomime Jokes
Party Jokes
Presents Jokes
Reindeer Jokes
Scrooge Jokes
Song Jokes
Snow Joke
The night before Christmas


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I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are small.
But they used to be lumberjacks on a mushroom farm!
Christmas gnomes are so small in fact that they have to stand on a ladder to fasten their shoe laces!

I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly,
But if beauty's skin deep then they were was born inside out!

I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed,
but when they cry the tears run down their back!
What do gnomes fear most about Christmas?
They're afraid Father Christmas will give them the sack!
Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word gnome in it!
Pupil: Er.... the man's house burnt down so.... he hadn't a gnome to go to!
Gnome: Doctor, Doctor! I keep seeing pink and green spots in front of my eyes!
Doctor: Good gracious! Have you seen an optician?
Gnome: No... just pink and green spots!
Doctor: I mean, have you ever had your eyes checked?
Gnome: No. They've always been blue!
Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?
Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.
What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!

What did the little demon do when he bought a house?
He called it Gnome Sweet Gnome.


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