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christmas jokes christmas jokes
Lots of quick jokes and fun for that fast dose of festive humour Longer christmas jokes and humour Christmas Carols, Rhymes & Songs

Quick Fixes
Christmas Animal Jokes
Christmas Books
Christmas Dinner
Christmas Doctor
Christmas Greetings
Cracker Jokes
Elf Jokes
Gnome Jokes
Knock Knock Jokes
Father Christmas
General Christmas Jokes
Pantomime Jokes
Party Jokes
Presents Jokes
Reindeer Jokes
Scrooge Jokes
Song Jokes
Snow Joke
The night before Christmas


Christmas Present Jokes
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Boy: My Christmas stocking's got a hole in it.
Father: Of course it has, dipstick. That's to get the presents in.
Boy: I asked for a hundred stocking fillers and all I got was this creepy crawly.
Father: You got a hundred stocking fillers.. that centipede has a hundred legs!
Did you like a parrot I bought you darling? It sings, dances, tells jokes and recites poetry. What did you think of it?
Well, to be honest, it was a bit tough, but the stuffing was nice.
Man: Do you have a pink car for my daughter?
Assistant: Sorry, Sir, we're all sold out. It seems everyone in the country has bought a pink car this week.
Man: You realise what this means?
Assistant: Yes, sir. We're slowly turning into a pink car-nation.
Man: I want some silk handkerchiefs for my wife.
Assistant: Certainly, sir. What size nose does she have?
Man: Actually she wanted something with diamonds but I only have two pounds.
Assistant: So, buy her a pack of cards.

Man: I'd like a magaician's set for my son.
Assistant: Is he a beginner?
Man: No! He's been practising the sawing-people-in-half trick for years.
Assistant: Is he an only child.
Man: No, No! He has a lot of half-brothers and sisters.

Man: My wife would like an unusual watch.
Assistant: Certainly, Sir. This one has insects in place of numbers.
Man: So how do you tell the time?
Assistant: Easy. Look! It's just coming up to fly past flea.
What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
I've got a present fir you!
What did the dog get for Christmas?
A mobile bone!
What did the farmer get for Christmas?
A cow-culator!
What do wizards use to wrap their presents?


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