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christmas jokes christmas jokes
Lots of quick jokes and fun for that fast dose of festive humour Longer christmas jokes and humour Christmas Carols, Rhymes & Songs


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Christmas Animal Jokes
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Father Christmas
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Snow Joke
The night before Christmas


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Christmas Present Jokes
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What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift wrapper?
Ribbon Hood!
What does a DJ like about Christmas?
Doing lots of rapping!
Why couldn't the cat work out how to use her new video?
She kept pressing paws!
Why did Scrooge buy everyone birds for Christmas?
He heard that they were going cheep!

Wife: Darling, you know that shockproof, waterproof, anti-magnetic, un-breakable watch you bought me?
Husband: Yes, darling.
Wife: Well, it caught fire.
Husband: Good grief.
Wife: But it's all right. I threw it in the river to put it out.
Husband: It cost too much to throw away.
Wife: It's alright. I fished the watch out of the river and it's still running.
Husband: The watch is still running?
Wife: No. The river, stupid!

Woman: Excuse me, do you have a kitten for my little girl?
Assistant: Sorry, madam, we don't do swaps.
Woman: I mean, have you got any kittens going cheap?
Assistant: Certainly not! They all go miaow!
Woman: My son would like a snake.
Assistant: We have a lovely boa constrictor.
Woman: He'd also like a Lego set.
Assistant: So buy him a boa constructor!


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